Camera found :0)

I was so excited today to find my camera!!
Elisha and I had fun looking at all the pictures and thought we would share......


Here is a close up of Elisha in front of the flowers next to our driveway. I can't believe how much they've grown!! I looked at the pictures from just a few months ago and am amazed. Just like our lives, eh?

Here is a better view of the flowers- they are impatiens!! They outgrew the Hosta I put in the middle!!

These pics are from the play date we had with one of my best friends and her children. Elisha had a great time, as you can tell from the pictures- driving the fire engine like Papa- even with a beautiful young lady hitching a ride :0)

Here he is trying out the tricycle. He is working on the peddling part on his own little tricycle at home and doing well:0)


He loved the swing. Do you know how hard it is to get a picture of a child on a swing when there is a 5 sec pause between your finger pressing the button and the shutter release on the camera????
My little captain of the ship. Loves wheels, buttons and all things boys!!!

He gets soo excited when he sees this picture- Lisha mon mower (Elisha's lawn mower). He pushed this thing all over- loves to imitate his Papa!!


Well, that's all for now.

Great Comments

As Elisha and I were leaving our VBS cookout Fri evening, there were several of the older girls standing beside the pavilion as we walked past. The one yelled over, "Is that your son?" (This may seem weird- but I am playing a preteen on stage- so my hair is up in 2 ponytails on top of my head :0) and walking with my 2 year old across the parking lot..... in "costume") I nodded yes to her. She said I didn't look old enough to have a son- she thought I was still a teen ager, too. AAAHHHH, that was pretty nice to hear since I've been not a teenager far longer than I was a teenager. Look out 40!!

Great comment- came at a great time. Tim has had a crazy busy schedule so we haven't seen much of him lately and I'm afraid that though I don't want to miss a single second with Elisha and I love to be close to him that I have already lost a couple of engines and I'm hoping the wind under my wings hold up enough to keep me from crashing and burning.

It is amazing and something I wasn't quite prepared for. My sister-in-law mentioned this but it didn't sink in. Once you have a child, you are no longer the center of attention. I figured that- what I didn't think about was those times when you long to have those close to you just ask how you are doing (and want to take the time to hear your answer), or even just say hi!!. Amazingly, that happens very infrequently, if at all now. I love it for my son, that everyone comes running up to us, to greet him and hug him and give him 5 and kiss him, but in the absence of other adult conversation about adult topics, it is amazing how isolated and.... hmmmm.... almost lonely it makes you feel that everyone seems to have forgotten your name and that you are the shadow standing in your precious little one's presence.

I loved getting on the stage again. It was so much fun. It was, I think, the first time that I have had something fun to do and not had to worry about keeping an eye on Elisha since we left for Russia in Feb. I'm smiling now just thinking about how I loved my little part in our drama. Reconnecting with friends, enjoying the thrill of the show. All too soon it was over. I was sooo glad to go back and wrap my arms around my little guy- the break was amazing.

I even had a couple of girls come up the next night (when I felt rather old and plain again as I wasn't in "costume") and ask for my autograph. Amazing how just being noticed is so uplifting for the spirit in the shadows, isn't it?

Elisha has been showing "great" attachment since that acting episode. Now he begins screaming and crying as soon as I put down his stuff in the nursery, afraid I'm going to leave him. I know part of me is celebrating this- that he is showing he wants me. The other part kinda enjoyed being able to come and go in the nursery to make sure he was able to potty and check on him.

Today I was looking forward with GREAT anticipation sitting in the service and just being there. No special part to play, just me and God, sharing some time with each other and the other fellow believers there. Well......... As with most larger churches, there were a lot of children in the nursery. I think that's great- a lot of young parents that are able to come and really enjoy worship while their children are well cared for. But with only one lovely lady there, and my son now screaming his head off and tears slipping down his sweet little face, I stayed in the nursery and played with Elisha and the other children.

Advantages- I'm getting to know the other volunteers in the nursery so they aren't just some nameless person caring for my son- but someone I can begin to call my friend and know what their life story is so I can ask about them. It is amazing how connected one can feel with another mom as you watch all these amazing children playing, snacking and interacting with each other. God is present everywhere I am, and he can provide great encouragement through the loving words of new friends, too. I'm also getting to know the other children that are Elisha's age. I can only see benefits in our future by my getting to know the "future" youth group that he'll be participating in.

So, I'm only going to look at the advantages right now, and maybe take a nap. It all looks better after a few hours of sleep, doesn't it? I'm kinda in a dark place right now and would appreciate any and all prayers. Oh yeah, encouraging comments are a great boost, too. I love to get comments to know that there are others out there sharing in our journey, falling in love with our little guy with us and holding us up to our heavenly Father who knows every thought, every feeling, every hurt and joy. I know I can climb up into His arms, rest my weary head on His shoulders and cry my heart out as He patiently listens to not only the words I say, but the ones that I don't even know how to express.

Thank you, God, for family and friends. Help us learn how to better encourage each other and how to ease each other's burdens as we share our joys and happiness as well. Let us not get so busy doing good works that we don't have time to spend and just be with those we love. Thank you that we know, ultimately, You have it all under control.

Happenens

I think someone hit the fast forward button on our life's remote control.... I feel like everything is going so fast around us. Why do we rush through life soo much? God packed so much into each moment- it's like swallowing a candybar whole- you don't appreciate any of the flavors if you don't savor each bite.

OK- no pictures yet- you'll have to bear with picture less posts for a few days until this internet thing gets a little faster...... Oh, and I lost my camera.... so I'll have to find that soon, too.

I mentioned the zoo- we had a blast. At one point- actually about the time of the pics in the last post, my girlfriend's little girl began sucking her thumb. They were all a few hours past nap time- but still doing well. When Elisha saw her sucking her thumb, he began scolding her, grabbing her thumb and pulling it out and jabbering a whole bunch with Kaka thrown in several times for good measure. HHHmmmmm........ makes me wonder if he heard that speech a lot in the orphanage. Makes sense with that many little ones to try to keep fingers out of mouths if at all possible. I will probably revisit the zoo here on our blog once I get copies of pics my friends took while we were there.....

Last week was a scorcher here in SE Ohio- but it worked great to get out the inflatable pool Elisha got for his birthday. What fun !!! I finally understood what Penny was talking about- being outside with him in the pool was GREAT!! He was relaxed, I was relaxed. It was soo pleasant!!

This week just ending has been our Kidstuf production for VBS- VBS for the family- It's a really cool concept- the parents stay with the kids- the production is fun for the whole family and that way the parents can talk to the kids on the way home about what went on instead of wondering what in the world the kids are talking about. I was relieved that I was only in one of the skits this year, since we have Elisha now. I had a blast being back on stage that one night, though- thanks to the wonderful ladies that looked after Elisha for me!!. Look out world- Cammie is back.......

Tim is in charge of the skits- the drama part- so he's been tied up (not literally lol!!) backstage when he wasn't acting. Tomorrow night is the wrap up and "barbecue" for the kids and families where we can all hang out, eat and have a blast together. I must admit- I'm tired. Elisha has been up over an hour past bedtime every night this week and his molar is coming in. But he has been doing fabulously. I'm beginning to think the siesta time in the afternoon, where adults get naps, too, is a great idea!! :0)

Had a wonderful thing happen almost 3 weeks ago. I took Elisha to the nursery so I could go backstage and join the worship team for singing. Instead of ignoring me as I walked out, or waving and saying bye- like go ahead and leave already- as he has been doing for the last few months, he looked up as I was leaving and began to cry for me.

A little background- just the previous week I had become concerned about attachment. I was trying to get my hands on several resources- from our agency, some books other adoptive parents suggested, etc. Elisha had stopped showing me any spontaneous affection- no hugs or kisses unless told to. But he would give Papa, friends and family and even complete strangers big hugs and kisses. He showed no preference for me when we were out, unless he was scared. As I was reading about other parents who adopted about the same time as we did experiencing similar problems and we chatted about this, one comment really stuck in my mind. One of our other families mentioned that our children, after a few months are preparing for us to leave- they are, in effect, looking for their next caregiver, since they know we won't be around much longer. (according to their limited experience of life)

Now I don't think our attachment situation was very serious. I just wanted to make sure it didn't become a bigger problem. So, as I'm reading through books, and several other resources, I'm praying that God will allow our hearts to mesh and for that bonding to go to a deeper level.

Fast forward to Sunday- less than a week after I really poured on the steam in my search and my prayers. I almost cried as I realized he wanted me. He wasn't trying to get rid of me and replace me. He wanted MY arms around him and MY presence with him. Thank you, Jesus!!

It was the first tangible picture I have in my mind of him literally attaching. - and it was right at the 4 month mark of us taking him from the orphanage. It is weird for me to say that now. I don't think of the orphanage much anymore. I just think of him as my son.... and I feel like a mom...... Oh what a feeling!! I feel kinda strange now when people I know introduce us to others as Tim and Debbie and their adopted son from Russia. It's almost as if that part was a dream now. He feels like MY SON not my ADOPTED son. Gotta love it. Thank you, God!!

OK- enough of the ramblings of a tired mama for now......

I was chided today for not giving updates- so sorry- life has been a whirlwind lately!!
We had a blast at Grammalot's- and once I find time to download the few photos we did take, I'll be sure to share weekend before last with you. Between work and the computer being down and then SSSSSSSOOOOOOOO SSSSSLLLLLOOOWWWW!!!!! I haven't had much time to update.

So, here is a teaser until I have more time.

Got a phone call yesterday (Sunday) evening from my friend Melissa- did we want to go to the zoo today. I almost said no. I am so glad I didn't. It was a perfect, beautiful fantabulous day and we all had a blast. Will post more pics when I get a chance- here are a couple of Elisha with Abigail, his friend.




With the 5 sec delay on my camera- I'm always glad when I get a good shot :)











They are eating yummy banana cookies.








And to top off the almost perfect day- Tim finished just in time with teaching his class to join us on the way home and we went out to dinner. Elisha had only 1 diaper the whole day!!!!! and told me when he had to go.........Yeah!!!!

Elisha was a bit overstimulated today- I'm still praying he goes to sleep soon- he slept about 1/2 hour in the stroller and has been going nonstop all day- we had quite delightful conversations on the way home. A slap happy toddler in the back seat, cracking up at anything you say or he says, after a full day of fun and sun with great friends- folks- doesn't get much better than this....... if only he'd give in to the tiredness so I can go shower and get in bed, too. Too bad Jedi mind tricks don't really work- you are feeling sleepy- you must close your eyes............. lol

I am your child

Monday was a great day. A tough day. A tiring day. A day I almost forgot I am never alone. A day that God used several people in a row to give me a hug and remind me that He is always right there, no matter where I am or what I am doing.

I decided to clean and reorganize the unfinished portion of our basement. As I was moving some of the items around, I knocked off a full bottle, which broke. That began a frenzy in me to completely redo this area. Elisha was napping, so I had even more desire to get it done.... FAST!! So, moving stuff around, mopping up all the glass and liquid spilled, rearranging and finally cleaning out everything that was left over from my sweet dog, Penny, that we had to have put to sleep the day before we left to get Elisha.

I made quite a dent in it before Eli woke up, and was working on finishing it up with him with me. I was tired and a bit cranky and suffering from conversation deprivation. (That's where you are unable to have a conversation to use up those 35,000 words you need to use each day, and you begin to feel a bit suffocated.)

Supper had boiled over and messed up the nice clean stove I had worked so hard on earlier in the week, and Elisha was suffering from sun deprivation (read: cabin sickness- sick and tired of being in the cabin with Mama.)

The phone rang. It was my friend Karen from PA. She just wanted to call and give me a hug over the phone, 'cause our heavenly Father had been prompting her to pray for me that day. She only stayed a moment on the phone, but it was so nice to be reminded that there are several people all over this planet that God may place us in their hearts and then have conversations with them about us. Imagine how special you are that God puts you in someone elses heart and then prompts them to pray for you when you are in a low spot. Amazing. Utterly amazing. I have prayed for people before. I have even called them before. I am not usually the recipient of those phone calls. I need to call more often. What joy fills your heart when you realize that the God and creator of the universe cares enough about you to interrupt someone else's day and have them pray for you. Thank you, God, and thank you, Karen for sharing that joy with me.

Then the phone rang again.

This time my friend Molly that I hadn't touched bases with for a long time. So good to talk to her again. While we were talking, I saw someone pulling into our drive way. I assumed it was one of our neighbor's friends. They often pull up into our driveway to turn around. Imagine my surprise when the car stopped in front of our basement doors. It was Orlo, a friend from church and our visitation Pastor. He was dropping off a poem he had told me about. As he was telling me about the story behind the poem, my thinking was on 2 tracks as I was trying to watch Elisha who had hit a very hyper time. Ever have those overwhelming moments? Nothing really major happening, but you've run out of cope and aren't due for a shipment any time soon?

As I was just about to feel myself spiraling out of control, Orlo said he guesses he'd better go (as Elisha kept peeking his head around the corner of the doorway and waving Bye Bye), I gave Orlo a hug goodbye. He held my hand close and told me to be still a moment. It was an amazing moment. At first I felt I should run after my son- then, it was as if my stormy and clouded thinking was like the storm the disciples were in, and Jesus had just said, "Peace, be still." Orlo told me he wanted to pray with me before he left. It was such a sweet, sweet time for me. I still have tears spring to the surface as I think about it. God surrounded me during that few minutes, reviving my flagging spirits, restoring my hope, stilling my anxious, crazy thoughts.

I looked at Elisha as Orlo finished. He was watching us. I asked if he wanted to pray with Orlo, too. Da. He came over, folded his hands and closed his little eyes. It was such an amazing moment. Orlo placed his hand on Eli's head and prayed blessing on him. It reminded me of the prophets of old that would come and pass on the mantle to the next generation. As Orlo left, he mentioned that this stop would be one of his last as he was entering retirement the next day. Thank you, God, for using this servant of yours to bless me so deeply and profoundly, and setting the stage with such precision to crack open the doors of my heart so I could receive the blessing.

Thank you for showing me over and over and over again how much you love me. Your love is amazing.

This is a poem I posted a few months before we found out about Elisha. The poem is called An Orphan's Prayer. Click on the poem's title to see that post and read the poem.

This is the poem that Orlo brought. Don't you think they fit well together?

I Am Your Child

I am your child.
All the world waits for my coming.
All the earth watches with interest to see what I shall become.
Civilization hangs in the balance.
For what I am, the world of tomorrow will be.

I am your child.
I have come into your world, about which I know nothing.
Why I came I know not;
How I came I know not.
I am curious; I am interested.

I am your child.
You hold in your hand my destiny.
You determine largely whether I shall succeed or fail.
Give me, I pray you, those things that make for happiness.
Train me, I beg you, that I may be a blessing to the world.

Father, I pray you continue to lead Tim and I as parents, so we can be the people you desire us to be and raise our son the way You desire. I pray we all can draw closer to You, learning more of this deep love You shower on us so we can learn to love others more... deeply, fully, with greater compassion.

Thank you.

Rambling updates

Amazing how stranded one feels in this day and age when the internet is down, isn't it?

Also amazing how one's thought process changes when one blogs. I find myself thinking about all the many things I'd love to put here.

Amazing how little "free" time is left over in a day when it is filled with the joy of raising a toddler. and the trials. The blessings. The pain. The bond that is growing. The angst as two lives being blended add in a third. The teeth jarring, hair raising, hot blood pumping, I'm going to need a wig soon feeling of jumping into parenthood with a terrific two year old son. The indescribable sweetness of watching the love light up on his face when he sees his Papa come home from work, or runs over to give me a hug. The light of learning brightening his face so often as he makes so many discoveries. The embarrassing stories that we can already laugh about, well, almost.

Briefly- all the stuff I wanted to post, couldn't and now have a limited amount of time that I can remember quickly:

Lots and lots of rain last week. Over 4 1/2 inches in one night- that washed the sides of the bridge out. (once I can find the pictures on the computer, I'll put them up so you can see them :0) Playing indoors quietly with a toddler for 1 week. Not recommended for sanity reasons.

Took Elisha to work with me this morning- we had an early morning staff meeting. Hehe. A 2 year old at a pharmacist meeting. hehe. My fellow coworkers commented on how good he was. I guess he is truly suffering from first child syndrome- you know, where mom and dad think he should be "perfect" out in public, and at home. He did do pretty well. We left twice to "Kaka"- ahh the potty training years.

Well, as I seem to be rambling, I will sign off. Just wanted to give you an update on the happenens around here. We are off to Indiana this weekend for the annual reunion at my Grandma's house. I am super excited. Not only do I get to introduce him to his extended family and give lots of hugs to Grammalot- but I also get to watch as he meets my immediate family. I am almost giddy with joy to be able to see my brother and sisters and their families and finally be able to introduce our long awaited child.

Stay tuned for more pictures. Few words.