Medicals

For those of you not in the process of adopting, the following may seem very boring to you. I suggest skipping to the very end for the short version. For those of you in process, I really enjoyed hearing others reports of how everything went. Here is our story.....

Vladimir picked us up at the hotel today. We and the other family with us drove a little ways, did a big u-turn in huge traffic, headed the other way and through some apartments, finally turning into the area where the American Medical Center is located. He lead us through the door.......

We signed in at the front desk, hung our jackets in the cloakroom, and sat in the children's waiting area. We filled out the usual documentation, sans the HIPPA required paperwork. The family with us has a 3 year old son with them, so we went into a bright colorful room filled with toys and bright paintings. Thomas had fun with the toys :) After a few minutes, maybe 35 or so (seems like forever when you are waiting) Tim and I were called back to the exam rooms.

There is a hall filled with several identical rooms- all in a peaceful blue color. The staff were very friendly, and though only 3 Dr's spoke English, all were able to communicate with us through an interpreter (the nurse).

We entered the first exam room and there was the Dr seated at the desk. "Have a seat" we were told. The Dr was the Psychologist. He wanted to know if we had any mental illness in our families. If we'd ever had a head injury. If we were ever sad for no reason. Basically all the great depression questions. He wanted to know how we resolve conflict in our marriage...... we said by talking it out. I mentioned that we agreed when we married to never go to bed angry with each other. He thought that was a great idea, but one that wouldn't be possible to put into practice. Tim told him it has worked very well for us for the last 8 years :) Poor guy looked like he was being interogated- he was way overheated- sweating and looking a bit nervous- very little eye contact. Kinda bizarre. For a Psychiatrist.

We were told to stay there. Very shortly the "Narcologist" came in. He was quite young looking with a large birthmark on his neck. We had to answer several questions- use drugs, anyone in your family an alcoholic, do you drink, are you sure? you've never had a drink? Not even a sip? Stand up- feet together-put out your hands- touch your index finger to your nose-now the other- stick out your tongue. Follow my pen with your eyes. OK. Have a seat. The next Dr will be in.

The next Dr was the Pulmonologist. She was such a sweet lady- appeared to be in her 50's and very friendly. She actually smiled :) She asked us about our lungs, looked at our x-rays- does it hurt to breathe? Any pain? any exposure to TB? Very good. Wait here for next Dr.

The nurse stuck her head in for a second- do you have any allergies? Any skin rashes? Any drug allergies? And she left.

After a chunk of time went by, the nurse called us out to the waiting area and the other family with us went in to the exam room we vacated. We waited.... and we waited......

A mid-40's gentleman came and got us. We went into a different room- one filled with a lot of diagnostic equipment. He introduced himself as the neurologist. Any head injuries? Headaches? Any problems with nerves? Any back problems? Stand up- hands out, touch your nose with your index finger- and the other finger- Good. Sit. Put your head on your knee- I looked up questioningly as I prepared to fold like a pretzel- I said head? He said- Hand- hehe. then he wacked on us with his rubber mallot. No problems here- glad he stood to the side so I didn't kick him! OK- go on back out.

So we went out to the waiting area and waited..... and waited.....and waited.

We went back in to the first exam room and met with the Oncologist. He was an Asian looking gentleman in his 40's that spoke excellent English. He asked us about any cancer in our families, any problems we have- checked out lymph nodes- neck and top of chest( where shirt is open). Very pleasant man- he smiled, too :)

After waiting in the room for a long time, the nurse came and asked us to move back to the waiting area again. Where we waited..... are you getting the picture? Oh, there is a coffee machine that you can purchase coffee and cappachino- there is also a water cooler- yeah!!

A different nurse came and got us and we went to a different exam room. This time it was the infectionist. Dr of infections, apparently. He took our lab work (all written in English) looked at it for about 45 seconds each page. All questions went through interpreter. Wanted to know if we had our diptheria vaccination. I said as a child. They looked concerned and said not since? I repeated diptheria- discovered they were talking about tetanus. Got that cleared up. OK. Go back out and wait. ( I wondered if he could even read English???)

So we waited some more. And then we waited. The other family finished- at one point Dad and son waited outside the room- for the disrobing....... hmmmm...... didn't think we'd have to do that....... So we waited...... then we waited some more.

Finally after almost 4 hours since we had arrived, we were called back by Olga- she was the family doctor- or general practitioner. She did quite a through job. Spoke to us for several minutes about general health, any daily medications? Any diseases? Then said we would need to get onto the table for an exam. Take off the shirt, please, and she pulled a chair over to place it on. OK ladies- no problem here- just the shirt- we were still g rated :) No breast exam to write home about...... Phew!!!! She took the blood pressure, listened to the lungs as well as the kidneys, checked out our lymph nodes, eyes, ears, throats and heart. We laid down and she checked out and percussed the abdomen. She was, by far, the most through. Her English, thou a bit broken, was quite good. She then said- OK- I think that is it.

The nurse came over as we were walking out of the exam room and said we were finished. They were just finishing our paperwork that we have to take to court. Every Dr has a seal, and on 1 page we have now 8 different professions listed, eight stamps off to the right side and a signature of each Dr inside the stamp. Ladies and gentlemen, after 4 long hours, only difficult due to the boredom one experiences, we were able to walk out to the van 36,800Roubles lighter, I mean later, and make our way back to the hotel. We were glad to be able to charge this to our credit card, since we didn't have quite this many Roubles with us.

We sat in the van as Vladimir, the driver, double checked everything before we go away.

Short version:

We waited forever to see 8 Dr's in the American Clinic- but are now done.